Joys of summer

There are many things to look forward to as summer envelopes us. Sun tans, BBQ's, vacations, long weekends, ice cream, etc. One major disappointment of the summer for me has always been the lack of new tv shows. All my favorites were in reruns. Last year, however, I discovered something that would save me from watching Lifetime originals all summer long (and subsequently plunging into a weeping mess covered in hagaan daz because really, women have it so hard. You don't know the pain that can come with ovaries) and over the last couple of weeks this something has made me excited about life all over again. That's right. Season 3 of So You Think You Can Dance (or for those in the know, SYTYCD) is BACK!

I just love this show. It has a quality that draws me in where shows like American Idol, America's Got Talent, Dancing with the Stars and Survivor turn me off. To be honest, I don't watch a lot of "reality tv" save for this and Charm School and its various incarnations (it hurts so good). I can't even watch Real World or Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and those used to be staples in my TV diet. I think it is the combination of lots of dancing with lots of dancing. Also, the people are young and quirky and fun. I love how they pair people up, because often times the chemistry between them is so squirm-worthy that that you are sure they are doing the do backstage afterwards (more on this later). I even enjoy watching the boring styles, like the waltz. The right couple can make me re-live their dance over and over again thanks to tivo and youtube. Also, the music rules. I usually end up trying some move they did during the course of the evening, and I usually butcher it pretty substantially(and often end up with a Franken-neck). Good thing I watch it alone.

This season started off strong with an impressive top 20 (10 guys, 10 girls). Obviously there were some standouts. Here are my favorites.

Jessi and Pasha
I like them both, but I love Jessi (and love looking at Pasha). Theirs was one of the typically boring to watch waltz' that I actually enjoyed. Mostly I know I like Jessi from the auditions and I expect big things from her.

Hok and Jaime
ruled) but I love Hok. I can't stand Jaime. And I swear to god, if she brings him down, I will personally go after her and pull out her big, curly hair one strand at a time. Their performance this week wasn't great (Jaime's fault, Hokworked it.) Hok's audition footage was pretty bad ass. He is adorable.

Lacey and Kameron
I'll be honest. I really didn't like either of these two before last week's show. And I usually can't stand watching modern dance. But this little number was pretty freaking awesome. Also, I can tell that despite her being Mormon, Lacey and Kameron will be boning at some point, if they haven't already, and if he isn't gay. I got a little hot and bothered just watching them. Which is nice. I like interactive tv.

Cedric and Faina
Hate Faina. I hope she goes home next week. Heart Cedric. Big time. He reminds me of Stretch Armstrong, but cuter. And less white.

Anya and Danny
Hate Danny. I'm aflutter about Anya. I want to reach through the TV and make out with her. They had excellent chemistry but mostly, this week they kicked ass because she's got legs that go on for days.

Sara and Jesus
Sara is a B girl. Jesus is the son of God. What more can you ask for. I hope they both stay the entire show and I hope Sara wins because she brought it.

In addition to SYTYCD, summer also bring swimsuits. Fun for some, unbearable for others. Last year I believe I retold the story of trying to buy a swimsuit and ending up with a maternity suit that looked pretty damn good on me. I'd say that experience goes firmly in the unbearable swimsuit experience column. But there IS something we can all look forward to. White swimsuits that magically turn see-thru with water! Or wait, can we? I have been doing a little swimming lately and there is always the same old woman there. She is probably in her upper 70's and looks every day of it. While she is technically excersizing, I wouldn't go so far as to say what she does could be considered swimming by any stretch of the imagination. More like floating, standing and occasionally walking very, very slowly. The other day she was getting out of the pool at her usual turtle pace when I saw it. By "it" I am referring to her old ass nipple right around where her belly button is. She had a swim suit that was half black and half white and the white part was not padded so as to hide areola. And if there is any areola I REALLY don't want to be seeing, it is the saggy, wrinkly areola of a woman in the winter of her life. She is either oblivious, or actually a saucy tart who is trying to seduce the gentleman that usually swims in her lane and chats her up. Though I'm pretty sure for him to actually see nip while she is standing in the pool, he would have to be laying on the bottom. Old age is a mother fucker.

While that's not her, that pretty much sums it up. Yikes.

So on that note, keep your nips under wraps and always wear sunblock.