Light it up

Lindsay says, "Jenny Stinks."

Yesterday was Lindsay's birthday, and in accordance with American customs, we celebrated. The evening began at Coast, a fantastic sushi restaurant. Lindsay invited 6 others to join in the revelry. We ate, we drank (BYOB), we bet on a the likelihood that a couple on their first date was familiar with the existence of Friendster (I bet both knew, one didn't). Everything was going along swimmingly until it came time to pay the bill. Everyone was looking to see how much they owed. I leaned over the table to grab the check. As I'm doing this, I catch a whiff of something funky and think to myself, "it smells like something's burning." I sit back and look at Lindsay who is giving me a perplexed look. At this very moment I simultaneously notice smoke coming from my left and hear someone say, "Jenny, your hair is on fire." That's right. I ignited my hair in an upscale restaurant. I proceed to bat my hair to stop it from smoldering. Lindsay continued to stare at me in disbelief. Meanwhile, smoke is billowing up to the ceiling, pretty much engulfing the entire room. Of course everyone at our table is howling with laughter and everyone in the restaurant is looking at my flaming head. The stench is unbelievable. We all know what a little bit of singed hair smells like. Well, imagine that times 31, and that was how the restaurant now smelled. The aforementioned couple on their first date whispered to each other, "Uh, I hate the smell of burning hair." Really? Cause I always though it had a refreshing aroma! Barf. I regained some composure and looked down in my lap to notice bits of black hair ash on my lap. I start running my fingers through my locks, removing clumps at a time of destroyed hair. In the end, it wasn't noticeable (except for the smell that still remains). Only my ego was damaged and to be honest, there wasn't that much left to begin with. Keep in mind, there were several candles on the table, and several women with long hair. Yet I am the only one with the talent required to light my hair on fire. Needless to say, I had to have a few more drinks before I called it a night. In the future, I predict I will be sporting a ponytail to most dinner engagements involving fire.