Old Woman

I had a moment the other day where I crossed into the world of really being an adult. I was getting ice cream with a friend and I had to run to the cash machine. It was dark out and close to the 4th of July, so of course there were fireworks galore. I really don't like the 4th of July for that very reason. I love professional fireworks shows but I despise amateur shows. I don't see the point. The fireworks are never cool to look at and usually, someone gets hurt. So I was running back across the street to get my ice cream when I see these kids throw something into the street. It looked like a cigarette butt, but then I noticed them notice me and start yelling," get out of the way, get out of the way!" Then, the firecracker that they had just thrown into the street started shooting off in my direction. I sprinted across the street a collected myself. At this moment I thought,' I could just not say anything and be all, oh it's cool, no big deal, and be cool. Or, I could be an old woman about the situation.' I chose the old woman approach. I looked at the kids and yelled, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK TO THROW A FIRECRACKER IN THE STREET? SOMEONE COULD HAVE REALLY BEEN HURT!" They all took a step back as I got closer to them. I continued, " You guys are crazy! Why would you even think of lighting fireworks right here." If I had a cane, I would have waved it at them. Actually, the above account is much more articulate than I was, but the sentiment is the same. The problem was, I was legitamately scared and at a loss for words which is sign number 2 that you are a crotchety old woman. I went into the ice cream shop where my friend looked at me in horror and said, " Please tell me that wasn't you outside yelling." I responded with, " Those crazy kids. I don't know what they were thinking!" She said, " You realize you are officially old now." I didn't realize this was true until one of the kids sheepishly came inside the ice cream store, held his head low and said, " Ma'am, I'm sorry, we didn't see you crossing the street. It was an accident." " It's alright guys, " I said, " just be more careful next time." And that is how my transistion to adulthood was marked.
And here is a picture of me yelling like an old woman in Lindsay's ear.