Mon-ca

My old friend Monica came into town Tuesday and I was able to spend a few meals with her. She is moving west to live with her lover and I think she is very excited. We had dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant were she got me intoxicated. I know that I have a low tolerance for alcohol, and my eyes were crossing after half of the first margarita, but that didn't stop me from ordering a second one. It was delicious.
So as happens with old friends, we spent some time thinking back on the good old days. I just wanted to share some of my fond memories of Monica, some talked about, some not.
Her baboon imitation.
This is easily the funniest thing I have ever seen Monica do. I only saw it once, but it is still ingrained in my memory as an uncharacteristic, and therefore hilarious, explosion of silliness. We were in 8th grade on the class trip to Washington, DC. We were in a hotel room together. These were the days before illicit alcohol consumption was the point of every class trip and the giggles weren't followed by puking, hair holding and hangovers. The rest of the story speaks for itself. Monica jumped around the room making baboon noises and walking around on her knuckles turned inward. Each baboon call she made left the rest of us on the floor in hysterics. It was wonderful.
Her Answering Machine Messages.
Monica has this silly way of talking when she gets nervous. She stops enunciating and lets the last part of her words drop off. I don't want to offend her by saying it sounds Valley Girlish, though that is the closest description. She doesn't talk like this all the time. Usually she is very articulate. It is only when she is nervous. She would leave messages on my parent's answering machine that went something like this, "hi Jenny, this is Mon-ca, can you ...muttered jumble of words...bye." I would come home from softball practice and my father, in his Chilean accent would say, "Mon-ca called. Mon-ca. It's Mon-ca. ..I have no idea what she wanted." To this day when I tell my parents I am going to see Monica they say, " Ooooh Mon-ca!"
Videos
One of our favorite pastimes as middle schoolers was to go to someone's house (usually Lindsay's) and make videos of ourselves. We made little plays and dance videos. There were two in which Monica's performance really stands out. The first was one where she was imitating her brother. He was dating Lindsay's sister at the time, so with me filming, Lindsay and Monica imitated their relationship. We were in about 5th or 6th grade. There is one part where Monica (playing her brother) says something to the effect of, "I'm horny" and starts writhing around on the bed grabbing herself. I don't know exactly what she was doing, but it was funny. The second video was a dance video. I actually don't want to talk too much about it because my performance was even more ridiculous than Monica's. There was a part while we were dancing to the song "RESPECT" and I smacked my ass several times. Lindsay's older sister showed her friends, the 8th graders, the video at a party and at lunch the next day they all approached me saying, "Nice moves" and then started smacking their butts. It was awful and crushing to my 5th grade self. It did not, however, stifle my passion for dance.
Boobies
I actually have many more memories including making Monica seduce an Austrailan man and her helping me use the bathroom the first time I ever was intoxicated. But for the finale I would like to share my most recent fond memory of Monica. When Lindsay and I drove out east recently, we stopped at Monica's parent's house, where Monica was watching their dog. This story will sound more racey than it actually was. Most women grow up and become comfortable changing clothes in front of other women. Not in a sexy way, but in a, "we all have the same parts and it is just more practical to strip in the locker room than cling to a hand towel to cover ourselves" kind of way. I have my own fears of being nude in front of women. When I was thirteen and needed to convert to Judiasm for my Bat Mitzvah I seriously considered not doing it because it required me getting naked in front of someone. I know Monica and Lindsay feel the same way about this. I have known these women for 16 years yet have never seen even a glimpse of their normally covered body parts and that is just not normal. Basically, we all flashed our goodies to each other in the pool. I can report that these ladies have very nice assests. We are better friends because of the experience. Though if Monica does in fact read this blog, I think she may kill me for sharing this. Oh yeah, then we ran around in panties having a pillow fight. Just like all women do.