Lockout fees are dumb

You know what pisses me off? A landlord charging a fee to let you into your apartment. That's crap. I locked my keys in my apartment this morning. I have done this several times before, so I keep a spare set of keys in my coat pocket (which I normally wear). However today, that coat was locked in my car with the keys to it in my locked apartment. Sigh. The first time I locked myself out, the "landlady" said she'd let me in for free...bit only this one time. Then I did it again and she charged me $10! All this woman's job consists of is making my life uncomfortable and letting people into their apartment. I have never seen her in anything other than a moo-moo. She is about 65, though she acts 110, has dyed orange hair and owns a psycho rescue rat named Penny. I hate this dog, and I am a dog lover. My hatred is not so much because of the dog, but because of Ms. Moo-moo. When I first moved in she asked me what I did. I said research. She said, “Oh it better not be on animals. It makes me sick when people do experiments on poor, helpless, defenseless animals.” Yeah, just like the research that had to be done to test your Aquanet and “Blood of Tenants*” shade of lipstick. I hate that too. Idiot. Also when I first moved in, she told me how she just got out of the hospital because she was having blood and puss leaking from her fat roll in her stomach and it turned out she had a yeast infection there because you can have a yeast infection anywhere it is damp and moist, according to her. If you feel whatever it was you just ate creeping up the back of your throat while reading that, just imagine me having to act like this was a normal subject of conversation while hearing it. Not fun. Anyway, she doesn’t do shit and when she does she bitches about it to no end (but this only happens after 11am, because God forbid she doesn’t get her beauty sleep). If I could put $10 in a deposit box, not speak to anyone and get my spare key to let myself in, that would be no problem. However, there is no chance in hell I will ever again pay $10 to have talk with her (which is necessary to get the key). I should get $10 taken off my rent every time I have to see her. There is a reason that they charge $30 less rent for the apartment next to hers than every other identical apartment in the building. So, back to my point, paying for a let-in is stupid, that is why I give my friends my keys, so I can trek all over town to have them give me my key for free. Thanks Lindsay.

*There is an actual shade of lipstick called Blood of Tenants, but you have to pass a bitch test to access it.