Stories from the Road

Continuing my streak of awesome vacations, I just returned from a trip to the east coast with my dear friend Lindsay. The pretense of this trip was that Linds was going to the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) to take a couple summer classes. If you don't already know, she has an astounding amount of talent in the arts. She wanted her car there and asked if I would drive with her. Road Trip? Count me in. In a former life I think I was a trucker. Of the 17 hour trip I think I drove 13, and not because Lindsay was slackalacking. I can just sit and drive and drive and drive and never really tire of it (unless I am sleepy and in which case I pretty much fall asleep at the wheel). That and Lindsay's company made it completely awesome. The first leg was to Niagara Falls. While Lindsay wasn't jazzed about the extra hour out of our way at first, I strong-armed her into going saying everyone should go to Niagara Falls. Have you ever been to Niagara Falls? It is HILARIOUS! Ok, so the waterfall is just plain cool, but the town is like a mini and cheesier version of Vegas. There are flashing lights, ferris wheels, arcades and IMAX movies galore. Come to think of it, it is actually a cheesier version of Atlantic City. Who knew that was possible. The next day we headed to Connecticut to visit our old friend Monica. Monica's parents live there now and Monica was house sitting. We stayed there a day and then went to Providence to register Lindsay for school. Neither Lindsay nor I had smooth transitions into college, therefore the sight of teenagers and their parents registering for classes sent both of us into a horrendous flashback that only a trip to Target buying adult things like irons and cutlery could bring us out of. She checked in, got an awesome apartment and later that night we met with Monica for dinner. The following day David met us for lunch in Providence. Sometimes when I think of my brother, I wonder how we are siblings. In my head/memories, we share very few personality traits. However, everytime I see me brother I am reminded how much we are actually alike. Some similarities off the top of my head: we both like to krump, we both work with people very unlike the people we grew up around, we both find situations that are not funny at all utterly hilarious, we both get super defensive when critisized, we both get pinched nerves in our neck with disturbing regularity, and we both like to drive. These are just a few, and they may seem to be not as deep as to make me believe we are very similar people, but I think watching us interact gives one a better point of view. Our similarites are just much more subtle than our differences.
Anyway, that is about the point where any fun to be had on this trip stopped. I won't get into too many specifics, but I didn't arrive into Chicago until 30 hours after I was supposed to. Along this adventure I had the pleasure of being marked for extra security checks. The other individuals going through these checks were the 18 year old, 100 lbs young lady behind me and the 86 year old 100 lbs woman in a wheelchair in front of me. I guess I can get on board with the idea of screening a younger, more able-bodied person in a wheelchair (though able-bodied is relative since they are, in fact, in a wheel chair) but this woman couldn't have caused more damage then accidently running over your toe, then knitting you an ugly sweater as a token of apology. Anyway, they put me in this box where they blew air at me in loud, violent puffs. Other than blowing my shirt over my head, giving the TSA guy a free peep show and making me devolve into a fit of giggles, I don't understand the point. Another highlight came on the plane from Laguardia to Chicago. I had to sit next to a woman who was not just drunk, but pissed and drunk and wanting to tell me all about it. All the flights were delayed and while on a normal day, I might have had some sympathy for her 6 hours in the airport, however I already had 10 hours on her 6 so I was in no mood. Then as the plane taxis to the runway, the older gentleman in front of me goes and has a seizure. So I ring for the flight attendant and they make an announcement that it is not a good time to ring for them as the plane is about to take off. I telepathically communicate that it is also not a good time to have a seizure either, but that didn't stop seizure man from having one. During this time the wino next to me gets up and begins to take the man's pulse. Someone asked if she was a doctor or a nurse and she said, "No, but I have taken CPR." I'm not sure about this, but I think all I learned in my last CPR class was how to makeout with a dummy, so I don't know how she felt qualified to help. The flight attendant asked her several times to sit down but she wasn't in a listening mood thanks to her pre-flight cocktails. Finally the flight attendant ased her firmly to sit. At which point wino decided, 'hey, I haven't offended or upset enough people today, why don't I just keep talking.' She replies to the other flight attendant (not the one instructing her to sit), "will you just slap the little faggot!" Exsqueeze me? I am uncomfortable even typing that word. I turned to her with this look of horror on my face. Before this point I was politely trying to give her the hint that I was in no mood to talk to her alcohol breathe. At this point I correctly decided polite went out the emergency exit 5 minutes ago and I could safetly actively ignore her which I did for the rest of the flight. We took off, the seizure stopped, I got home at 1:30am. Needless to say I wrote United a very long letter requesting comp tickets on any airline other than them. I'm still waiting for their response.
It's good to be back, but not as good as my trip was. So now I pretty much just daydream of my next vacation.
On another note, I just finished A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. It was awesome. From what I know of people trying to control their addictions, this seems to me to be an honest, open and articulate account, even with his embelishments. Oprah is a Hack. Read this book!

Fun Galore

It's only half way through the month of June and already I have a lot to report.
First, at the end of May my dear friend Tina came over for a little visit. It was so nice to have her all to myself and we kept ourselves busy with typical Tina/Jenny activities, namely eating, napping and watching tv. Actually, I was very impressed with the amount of actual activity we managed to squeeze in. We accomplished my first ever trip to the beach in Chicago, shopping at H&M and Anthropologie, the King Tut exhibit, Cherninns and a Cubs game. Much time was spent at delicious restaurants. David was in town and joined us for dinner with mom at Angelina's, and then brunch at Kitsch'n. We also ate at Earwax and Gejas. Let me just tell you, I was close to taking Tina to bed with me after our meal at Gejas, where she generously treated me to the best fondue in the world. While it is one of the most simultaneously romantic and gluttonous restaurants in Chicago, we were able to both keep our hands off each other and stand up at the end of the meal, though barely. It was one of those delicious meals where it physically hurts to continue to put more fondue chocolate covered strawberries in you mouth, but you just can't stop. There was only one position that was comfortable and that was horizontal with pants unbuttoned. 15 days later I am still digesting. Tina also brought a generous amount of seriously delicious Seattle Crabs. They were cooked to prefection. It was as if I was eating at a 5 star seaside cafe on the coast of the pacific northwest. I don't see Tina nearly enough so I really have to absorb her while I can. It was a wonderful visit but already I am ready for more.

Next it was off to Los Angeles to visit the handsome Jascha. It had been about 3 months since I had last seen him and three months is about 2 months 6 days too many. I was a little skeptical about los angeles but I have to say, I enjoyed it. I brought Radley along with me to be reunited with his alpha dog. While there were a few tears and near misses to nervous breakdownville, the dog survived the plane ride and was happy to be back with Jascha. We spent time in Venice, Santa Monica and Hollywood. Overall the trip was entirely too short. I don't know what I was thinking only going for three days. But it was better than nothing. Jascha had been bragging to me about the sushi quality there. I figured it would be better, but really, how much of a difference in taste does it make being right by the ocean. A BAZILLION PERCENT DIFFERENCE! I have tasted heaven and its name is California sushi. The fish just melted in my mouth and whatever is the best word to describe fresh, insert it here. I could have eaten only sushi the entire time I was there. But we did have several other wonderful meals, including a 2 am trip to Carl Jr. Thank God for 24hour food! The only thing I didn't get to do while I was there that I really wanted was to eat at In and Out. It was closed when we went by. Oh well, that will be one more reason to go back soon. That and challenging Jascha to a bowling match at the Big Lebowski Bowling Alley. I just love the beach and I think what I was most suprised by was how quaint some of the houses were. Of course on the beach they were enormous, but a few blocks off the beach were these colorful one story beach houses that were just beautiful and unpretentious. I guess that really suprised me. I was expecting mansions everywhere within walking distance of the beach. I'm not saying these places weren't expensive, but they were original and charming. It was such a nice weekend I didn't want it to end. Alas I had to return to Chicago. It was a tearful goodbye and now it's back to getting used to not seeing Jascha everyday. But I have to say I am proud of him. His work is awesome and he has a nice group of friends, so I feel at least he is well taken care of and happy. I miss Radley too. My apartment is lonely and my snuggling buddy is gone. Add him to the list of reasons to go back to LA soon.