Am I what?

Last week I was casually working when a co-worker stepped into the room I was in and started chit-chatting. Let me preface the rest of this story with the fact that said co-worker is decidedly crazy. I know this, but somehow, it doesn't help. So she is going on and on about something crazy and I am trying to ignore her while looking stuff up on the computer. Then the following conversation ensued:
Crazy: "Did you Blah blah blah something ...weight?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Crazy: "Are you gaining weight?"


. . .


Me: "Uh...I don't know. Maybe."

Crazy: "Yeah, you look like you've put on some weight."

Me: (thinking up ways to poison her)

Crazy: "Are you pregnant?"

. . .


. . .


Me: "Uh...no."

Crazy: "Are you sure? I've been trying to get you alone all day to ask you."

Me: "Trust me. Not pregnant." (But thanks for pointing out that I look as though I appear pregnant enough that the odds were high enough for you to take a chance and ask me if I was pregnant, because as we all know, you wait until that belly is about to pop, and even then you don't ask unless she is clearly wearing maternity clothes and it is her baby shower.)

Crazy: "Well, all I know is, you've been looking like you've put on some weight lately."


. . .


Crazy: "Let me continue on in some more nonsensical babble on topics other than your recent weight gain and possible pregnancy...or better yet, let me just read from the bible."

I know this woman is nuts. Everyone knows it. But I also know that she has made me wear large sweaters, t-shirts and jackets for the last week, even though it was warm enough for bikinis. Bitch. This encounter is only more evidence of how loony she really is because she thought it apropriate to both call another woman fat and read the bible (new testament) to a jew in the same conversation. That is just poor judgement. I'm not saying there is no truth in her observations. I don't weigh myself for the very reason that it puts me into a serious funk like the one I'm now in. I can't look in the mirror, my hair always looks like crap and I might as well go get my moo moo now because my pants will never fit again. Even if I weigh the same as the day before, I feel like a sausage in everything I try on. I might have put on some weight lately, but I don't need crazy people to point that out to me. This is even more depressing after my ridiculous last post containing substantial clues to my weight management problems. I just like to keep thinking that I can eat hostess cupcakes and maybe, maybe, still manage to lose weight. Call me a dreamer, call me deluded, all I know is it gets me through the day without imaging myself dead on the autopsy table with the coroners laughing at how many fat layers they had to cut through and how they needed a crane just to lift my goat cheese filled ass on to the table. Crap. I might even have to start exercising now. Thanks a lot crazy.

Bad Habits

What I've eaten since 8:47am Sunday morning:
8:47 am- Bagel with cream cheese
1:15 pm- Ear of corn and yellow tomato with goat cheese
7:30 pm- Bagel with cream cheese + yellow tomato + vadalia onions
7:15 am - Top of cinnaman muffin
7:18 am - Piece of beef jerky, teriaki flavored
7:30 am - 2 apples
10:30 am - More beef jerky
2:30pm - Cheetos puffs
2:45 pm - The rest of the jerky
3:00 pm - Chocolate chip cookie and ginger ale

Ok, so I knew that I had some serious eating problems, which is why I wrote this for all of you, but I had NO idea it would be this bad. I'm actually pretty embarrassed. Not so embarrased that I won't post it, but just embarrassed enough to maybe do something about it. Part of my problem is I HATE grocery shopping, so I don't have much to pick from. Then, when I do go to buy food, I gravitate towards high calorie, low nutritional value type foods. I had an embarrassing incident that I won't go into, but it required me speaking with a doctor. The doctor asked what I'd eaten that day and I had to admit that all I'd eaten by 4 pm was oatmeal, 2 beers and raw cookie dough. I cursed myself that of course I had to have an incident that day, but truth be told, most days are humiliating to recall as far as diet is concerned. I blame it on my parents, who had the LARGEST snack drawer ever when I was growing up. I never learned the food pyramid. Maybe it was private school. I don't know, but something must be done. To my credit, I did take out a chicken breast from the freezer to thaw for dinner. Hopefully I can find some sort of cheese/molasses/lard topping for it.

The sky just may fall.

Today has been one of those days where you keeping looking up because you are expecting the sky to fall. First I have a cold. I deplore colds in the summer because I feel cheated. I'm hot already, and while the temperature is cool right now, it's not always that way, and I already feel like it's 90 degrees, so when it's actually hot out it is unbearable. If it were winter, EVERYONE is sick, it is cold outside and you don't have to feel like you are missing out by staying home sick. I am going to my parents house tonight and I haven't done laundry in what may fearfully be approaching close to a month, therefore leaving my home this morning I had two laundry baskets full of clothes in my arms. I was running late for school and I just needed to get out the door. I did. I just happened to leave my keys and cell phone inside. Sigh. So now I have two loads of laundry and no car to put them in. I leave the laundry in the hall and make a bee line for the train. By the time I get to campus, I am already 35 minutes late for a 50 minute class, so I don't go. I worked in the computer lab for an hour and then headed back. I got to the platform just as the train was leaving, so I had to wait. There is nothing I hate more than arriving just as a train is leaving. It's happened several times and because of this, my usual policy is, if I'm going to be cutting it close, I just dawddle so to intentionally miss the close call train and amble my way to the next one. I had to pay the $10 lockout key to Landlady. On top of that, Landlady is sick. I think she has always been sick, but now I think she is really really sick. I felt pretty bad for her.
That's been my day so far. Not the worst, not even close, but it's not over with and so far it has recipe for disaster written all over it. But I still have hope. After all, tomorrow I go to the kane county flea market and part with some money. I can't wait to see what kind of crap I can end up with! Maybe I'll take some photos to share with you. It is ALWAYS a sight, that's for sure.