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Baby brother all grown up

Today is my little brother's birthday. 24. 24! The idea that he is getting so old is a little bit scary to me, though I have no doubt he is prepared for it. In celebration of his day I thought I'd share some of the things that I like best about him/most impress me about him/make me laugh at him.

• He is a teacher. And a good one. He teaches a bunch of high school kids that could wear down Mother Teresa's patience and he never even blinks. He is realistic about their futures, yet hopeful and encouraging all along. He even took his kids to visit his Alma mater, resulting in an acceptance to the school. I'm amazed at this, because more profoundly, I am amazed he hasn't thrown any of them out the window. I surely would have.
• He does the best imitations of people I have ever seen or heard.

David immitating a really annoyed brother whose sister will not stop taking pictures of him. Perfection.

• He is an artist. An amazing artist. He has given me several pieces which I love to display. He has an eye for detail that makes his work unique and hard not to stare at for hours.
  
• He wears his emotions on his face. When David is pissed, you know it. When David doesn't like you, he doesn't hide it. While I don't particularly love this, I can appreciate it because you always know where he is coming from. More than that, I love that when he is happy because he has the best laugh and smile in the entire world.

Mostly likely cracking up due to a fart joke.

• He krumps. Seriously. And with gusto. Some of my favorite memories are dancing with my brother in the house and in the car. And not just a gentle swaying. I'm talking full throttle, balls to the wall gyrations and spasms. I'm not saying that either one of us are particularly good, but that doesn't mean we don't give 100% every time.
• He is a bleeding heart liberal. He loves politics and can out argue just about anyone, even when he is wrong. He has some serious convictions and he will fight you to the death to get his point across. He has a soft spot for the most vulnerable and underprivileged among us and has proven he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty in helping tackle those issues. I love all this leftist enthusiasm even more because I knew him way back when he was in 9th grade and was a staunch Republican.

If this isn't the portrait of a budding political mind, I don't know what is.

• His hands look like paws on a puppy.

He has hands like this, only more hairy. Also, there was another picture here, but SOME people found it offensive. Prudes.

• We both get Franken-neck pretty regularly. Genetics.
• As we get older we start to look more and more alike. While he complains that in pictures we always look like boyfriend and girlfriend (it is creepy, we know. It's been discussed and we aren't proud of it), hopefully soon we will look similar enough that people will either assume we are just happy siblings or from Appalachia.

Loving brother or sister or future parents of a very inbred child? Ew..I'm sorry. That was too much.

• David can have some foul moods. I mean, seriously foul. But the nice thing is, no matter how mean he gets, or whatever nastiness comes out of his mouth, he will always apologize when he knows he's really hurt your feelings. I have a million little notes somewhere saved from when we lived under the same roof that say the sweetest, most heartwarming things.
• When we were little kids and we wanted to get our mom's attention we would pool our annoyingness together and I would yell, "MOMM-" and then he would yell, "-MMY" over and over until she would come to us. While I'm sure my mother would remember this as one of our less charming attributes, I think it was pretty adorable. Go Teamwork.

I have a lot more things I like/think are funny about my brother, but from here on out, the stories/opinions I have fall into the category of things my brother would kill me for sharing. But I think you can get the gist of him through what I have disclosed. Starting in high school he began evolving into Dave. Dave is how his friends know him. David is the hip guy who dresses smart and listens to kick ass music. I like Dave. But really, to me, he will always be David, who danced our choreography while lip-syncing to "Master of the House" from Les Miserables with me around our family room. So Happy 24 Dave and David! I hope the next 24 will bring you more success and happiness than your bleeding liberal heart could ever imagine.

No family vacation is complete without...ME!

As I mentioned before, this June ruled. I've had one more weekend to add to a fantastic month. The last weekend in June happened to be my parent's 30th anniversary. Wow. That means my mom has been married more years than she was single and my dad is getting close. That just blows my mind. Personally, I think my parents are an excellent example of how a marriage should work. They don't always (or ever) get along, per se, but they both have a lot of love and respect for the other that keeps it going. Most likely, they each have pretty detailed, well thought out plans of how to get rid of the other and make it look like an accident. But not once in 30 years have either one of them reverted to those plans and I think that takes guts and should be commended. My parents were planning on going to New York to visit my brother that weekend and my brother had the brilliant idea that I should fly out there secretly and surprise them for their anniversary. That's David, always thinking. So that is what I did. (I realize this plan/anniversary present all hinges on the assumption that someone (my parents) would want to "receive" me or time with me as a gift. In fact, in this case, it goes so far as to assume someone would not only like to "receive" me, but pay for all my meals, cabs and lodging on top of it. I'm pretty awesome, so I'm going to say it is a pretty safe assumption.)

Manhattan, as seen from Brooklyn.

I planned to arrive the same day as them, just a little later so I would meet them at their hotel after dinner. Possible revelation scenarios included me already in the room, yelling surprise when they entered, a bell boy knocking on the door saying, "Delivery" and then the delivery was me or me randomly walking up to them in the lobby asking for the time. All my good intentions flew out the window when it stormed for three days in Chicago, prior to my departure.

Their flight was delayed. My flight was delayed even more. I ended up arriving at their hotel at 1:30 am. David had informed the front desk of my pending arrival and they had a key for me. David was pretty sick and took a Tylenol PM, so he said I should just let myself in if he didn't answer his phone. The only problem with that plan was the chain lock on the door. So after calling David about 15 times, he finally answered and let me in. We snuck into my parent's room where David woke them saying, "I have surprise for you." I snuck out from behind the door and said, "Surprise!" My dad barely rolled over. My mom picked her head up and looked at me (without glasses or contacts) and said, "What?" I said, "It's your daughter, Jenny!" My mom said, "What?" Dad said, "Jennnnnnny. Hello. " and then went back to sleep. My mother was pretty confused, understandably. The most she could spit out that night was, "What? I don't understand. But how did you get here? I don't understand. Where were you? How are you here? What? I don't understand." It was pretty cute. There was a pull-out couch that David was sleeping on, but he was very, very sick and contagious. So my parent's 30th anniversary ended just like every couple imagines theirs will end. In bed, with their 26 year old child in bed with them. Now that's what I call romance.

Little do they know this scene will be repeating itself 26 years from now, minus the contented smiles.

The weekend was great. David was really sick, and I felt pretty bad for him. But he hang in their like a trooper. He recently moved to his first apartment where he will have no roommates and I think he is just going to love it. He has a pretty sweet set up there. The apartment seems nice, it has cool people in the building and it is very close to a lot of fun.

It worries me that my brother just continues to get more good looking. Soon I'm going to have to stop uglying myself up so as to make him feel better. I hate him thinking I got all the good looking genes in the family.

We ate at some pretty incredible restaurants in Brooklyn, went to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, went to the MoMA, walked along the river and just had a great time. Brooklyn is pretty kick ass. The more I go there, the more I really enjoy it. My parents were happy with my presence and were glad to have the whole family together. So overall, Operation Surprise Anniversary was a success. Even with the co-sleeping.

Weekend in Review

If my entire life were like this month of June, I'd be the luckiest woman alive. To continue on the nuptials theme, I attended an engagement party weekend for my dear friend Ben and his lovely and gracious fiance, Kristin. The whole crew of us who lived together my junior year of college were all in attendance. Both Rud and Tina have eloquently described this weekend's activities, but I will give an update as well. Following Rud's example, I will take the bullet point approach, elaborating when necessary (or interesting).


Wednesday, June 20 to Thursday, June 21.
-Quality time with Tina.

Tina says I made her eat hair. I think she enjoyed it.

Friday, June 22.
-Tina made delicious food for the road.
- Food consumed in first 20 minutes on the road.
- A four hour drive took 6 and 1/2 hours.
- Aforementioned delay was due to a truck "dropping its load" on 80-90, thus shutting down the highway. 3 miles in 2 hours. One display of dexterity, flexibility and just plain bravery in the backseat on my part. If any of you know my bladder, then you can imagine what this refers to.
-Arrival at Devil's Lake VERY late in the evening. Entire E2 contingent (my roomies, Didi, Andrew, Nemo and Ben) awake and drinking, awaiting our arrival.
-Catching up around the bonfire.
-Spooning with Tina.

Saturday, June 23.
-Breakfast with my roommates!
-Tubing
- I've always been a little afraid of tubing, but I think I might have picked up an addiction. On the first go, it was Me, Didi and Ben. There was treachery. There were heroics. There was lots of maniacal laughter. It was awesome. The second round was with Tina and Carrie. Less treachery, same amount of fun. I came away with only Franken-neck (how I will forever more refer to my neck stiffness) and a skinned elbow. The following morning I was so unbelievably sore. It felt awesome.

Ben tried to overthrow, but Didi's and my collective strength denied him every time.

-Institution of the 2 put up's for every put down. Let's just say Nemo was giving me put up's all night.
- Cornhole, a game I have always scoffed at. There is nothing more annoying than frat boys throwing bean bags on the sidewalk on a beautiful, sunny day. However, after participating, I can really see the appeal. Still, the frat boys should take it to their back yard.
- BBQ!
- Incredible nap on the dock in the sun with my roommates. Perfect.

What else was perfect? Our E2 pyramidal formation, that's what.

- Caribbean Band!! And they played Sweat! There was dancing. Much much dancing.
- Catered dinner. Coconut rice, chicken and beef that melted in your mouth. Corn with vanilla butter! Cake! It was to die for. It fit the theme and satisfied everyone's palate.
- Fireworks off the dock. One of the most impressive displays I have ever seen on the amateur circuit.
-Bonfire with...wait for it...S'MORES!!! and the introduction of Harper Pies (bread, pizza sauce, meat, cheese, all in the fire. Delicious.).
- There is no better food on earth than s'mores. Well, a few, but let's just say I if I combined s'mores with my other favorites, it would be a meal fit for Zeus himself.

Sunday, June 24.
-Early departure.
-Sad goodbyes
-Traffic
-Street closure due to Gay Pride Parade.
-Excellent sushi dinner.

All in all, it was a perfect weekend, though it was way too short. There is obviously a lot more information, but it is mostly inside jokes, so I spared you. This group of friends hadn't all been together since 2005 and it was fantastic to remember how much fun we used to have, and to witness how much fun we still have (as evidence by the over abundance of exclamation points in this post). I think E2 get togethers are going to have to become a yearly thing. I just can't wait til there are babies at these events. Ok, I take that back. I can wait cause that will mean crying and tending to them, and smelly diapers and distractions, and possibly Barney. I'm just fine with no babies for another 5 years. But when they all start having babies, I will be ready. Just so long as I get out of diaper duty.

The sunset, metaphor for life, love, the end of the weekend and the completion of this entry.

Joys of summer

There are many things to look forward to as summer envelopes us. Sun tans, BBQ's, vacations, long weekends, ice cream, etc. One major disappointment of the summer for me has always been the lack of new tv shows. All my favorites were in reruns. Last year, however, I discovered something that would save me from watching Lifetime originals all summer long (and subsequently plunging into a weeping mess covered in hagaan daz because really, women have it so hard. You don't know the pain that can come with ovaries) and over the last couple of weeks this something has made me excited about life all over again. That's right. Season 3 of So You Think You Can Dance (or for those in the know, SYTYCD) is BACK!

I just love this show. It has a quality that draws me in where shows like American Idol, America's Got Talent, Dancing with the Stars and Survivor turn me off. To be honest, I don't watch a lot of "reality tv" save for this and Charm School and its various incarnations (it hurts so good). I can't even watch Real World or Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and those used to be staples in my TV diet. I think it is the combination of lots of dancing with lots of dancing. Also, the people are young and quirky and fun. I love how they pair people up, because often times the chemistry between them is so squirm-worthy that that you are sure they are doing the do backstage afterwards (more on this later). I even enjoy watching the boring styles, like the waltz. The right couple can make me re-live their dance over and over again thanks to tivo and youtube. Also, the music rules. I usually end up trying some move they did during the course of the evening, and I usually butcher it pretty substantially(and often end up with a Franken-neck). Good thing I watch it alone.

This season started off strong with an impressive top 20 (10 guys, 10 girls). Obviously there were some standouts. Here are my favorites.

Jessi and Pasha
I like them both, but I love Jessi (and love looking at Pasha). Theirs was one of the typically boring to watch waltz' that I actually enjoyed. Mostly I know I like Jessi from the auditions and I expect big things from her.

Hok and Jaime
ruled) but I love Hok. I can't stand Jaime. And I swear to god, if she brings him down, I will personally go after her and pull out her big, curly hair one strand at a time. Their performance this week wasn't great (Jaime's fault, Hokworked it.) Hok's audition footage was pretty bad ass. He is adorable.

Lacey and Kameron
I'll be honest. I really didn't like either of these two before last week's show. And I usually can't stand watching modern dance. But this little number was pretty freaking awesome. Also, I can tell that despite her being Mormon, Lacey and Kameron will be boning at some point, if they haven't already, and if he isn't gay. I got a little hot and bothered just watching them. Which is nice. I like interactive tv.

Cedric and Faina
Hate Faina. I hope she goes home next week. Heart Cedric. Big time. He reminds me of Stretch Armstrong, but cuter. And less white.

Anya and Danny
Hate Danny. I'm aflutter about Anya. I want to reach through the TV and make out with her. They had excellent chemistry but mostly, this week they kicked ass because she's got legs that go on for days.

Sara and Jesus
Sara is a B girl. Jesus is the son of God. What more can you ask for. I hope they both stay the entire show and I hope Sara wins because she brought it.

In addition to SYTYCD, summer also bring swimsuits. Fun for some, unbearable for others. Last year I believe I retold the story of trying to buy a swimsuit and ending up with a maternity suit that looked pretty damn good on me. I'd say that experience goes firmly in the unbearable swimsuit experience column. But there IS something we can all look forward to. White swimsuits that magically turn see-thru with water! Or wait, can we? I have been doing a little swimming lately and there is always the same old woman there. She is probably in her upper 70's and looks every day of it. While she is technically excersizing, I wouldn't go so far as to say what she does could be considered swimming by any stretch of the imagination. More like floating, standing and occasionally walking very, very slowly. The other day she was getting out of the pool at her usual turtle pace when I saw it. By "it" I am referring to her old ass nipple right around where her belly button is. She had a swim suit that was half black and half white and the white part was not padded so as to hide areola. And if there is any areola I REALLY don't want to be seeing, it is the saggy, wrinkly areola of a woman in the winter of her life. She is either oblivious, or actually a saucy tart who is trying to seduce the gentleman that usually swims in her lane and chats her up. Though I'm pretty sure for him to actually see nip while she is standing in the pool, he would have to be laying on the bottom. Old age is a mother fucker.

While that's not her, that pretty much sums it up. Yikes.

So on that note, keep your nips under wraps and always wear sunblock.

The Wedding Issue

It's spring time and that can only mean one thing. Weddings. Lots and lots of weddings. In the past month I have been to two beautiful weddings of college friends and I would like to take a moment and reflect.

The Kate-Tom Wedding

The weekend before memorial day, two of my friends from the Northwestern Alpine Ski Racing Team were married.

NU Alpine Ski Racing Team Represents. Really, are we not the picture of Division I athletes?

Kate and Tom met on ski team, so I was able to witness this relationship from its inception. The wedding took place at Lake Geneva on a perfect day. Kate looked stunning and seemed as natural on the alter as if she was ordering some fries with her cheeseburger. Tom, equally as dapper, seemed happy as hell and there were even some tears on his part, which meant there were tears on my part. Nothing makes me cry like a choked up groom. Well done. I hadn't seen most of my friends from ski team for a good 3-4 years, so this was a perfect opportunity to get re-acquainted. And nothing helps the re-acquainting like copious amounts of booze.

Really, I was just holding her up. No one wants to see the bride drunkenly face plant.

There were some funny moments, like the limo getting lost, Vee and Jay in general, and the Wayne Newton impersonator DJ. But mostly it was just fun. There was lots and lots of dancing, which I whole-heartedly support. Also, it made me realize I don't see this group of friends nearly enough.

The Liz-Matt Wedding

One of my roommates from my senior year at Northwestern married. Matt met and dated Liz throughout that year we were living together, so again, it is fun to see a relationship that I witnessed the beginnings of end in marriage and not tears and restraining orders.

All together now, "Awwww." Now you can barf in your mouth.

I was a bridesmaid in this celebration, and the benevolent Liz allowed her bridesmaids to pick our own dresses, just so long as they were below the knee and black. I was one of very few (frighteningly few, actually) single people at this affair. All of my roommates from senior year are now either married or engaged. WTF? Not only that, but they seem to have a lot of paired up friends. No matter. I scouted out the dateless so that there was never a slow song that I didn't dance (though I don't really understand the two slow song in a row rule. I mean, admittedly, sometimes it is awesome because you get to cling to someone who, under other circumstances would run like hell from you, for an extra song, but sometimes, you are the one wanting to run like hell. You need a fast song so you can escape from their kung foo grip, but it doesn't come. This is actually one of the few occasions were I wasn't afraid to start a second dance with a partner I had, so way to go with the wedding guest selection).

Matt, me and Greg, each blaming the post-rehearsal dinner gas on others.

There was also a margarita bar (Dangerous. Dangerously delicious.) the electric slide (which might be one of my favorite dances in the world), "I like big butts" (which might be my favorite song to dance to inappropriately at weddings), Air fiddle to "The Devil went down to Georgia (I think)," kick as food combo of chicken AND steak (which later contributed to some seriously noxious dance floor odors) and the groom serenading his bride with Meatloaf (the artist, not the food). I would really like to tell you some funny stories about the wedding, but I feel like they would all come off as inside jokes, much funnier had you been there.

Caleb, me and Nemo. We are so good looking, it is a felony. Thankfully, Caleb is a lawyer.

All I can say is Liz looked resplendent (you really rarely get the opportunity to use a word like resplendent but I don't think there is a more perfect word) and I don't think I have ever seen Matt happier. It was a terrific event and I am so happy I got to participate.

While it is strange seeing more and more friends end up with wedding rings on their hands, I am pretty ok with it. Sure, I had to sleep on the sofa bed so Nemo and Carrie, husband and wife, could have an actual bed. Sure, at breakfast I was the odd number chair with everyone else having a partner next to them. But, I do get to keep my dance card open, I do get a bed to myself to sleep drunkenly in and I rarely have to consult with anyone else before making plans. Plus, wedding rings seem like awkward things to get used to, and I'm ok putting off the anxiety of losing one for awhile. Also, seeing old friends from college makes me super nostalgic, and not the least bit sentimental. Not to get to emotional on your asses, but I am really lucky when it comes to my friends. I have a lot, and they are all kick ass. More importantly, they are the type of friends you can not see for years and years and yet when you see them, you can jump back in like you haven't skipped a beat. That is a rare thing in life, and I know I hit the jack pot. Ok. Too much of a love fest right there.

Let this wash out the mental image of me hugging the world and sneezing rainbows.

Get your nails did.

Two weeks ago, my friend, Marianna treated me to my first ever manicure as a birthday present. I think she is trying to give me the hint that it is high time I start acting like a lady. Why haven't I said anything about it until now? Well, it took two full weeks to really process what went down.

We went to Pinky, a cutely named nail place on Southport. We'd been planning this trip for some time now and I'd been worrying about it all along. Things I worried about:
1. Infection. I'm not convinced of the sterility of the tools they use and I really don't need a nail fungus to add to my growing list of fungal infections. Trust me, it's impressive.
2. Cuticle pushing. Creeps. Me. Out. I don't like the idea of people pushing anything back into my skin.
3. Pink. Places that choose a pink color scheme (or name, even if it is a cute play on words) generally freak me out, or at the very least, make me wary.

4. Pedicures. I probably need a pedicure, but I was really nervous about getting roped into a pedicure inadvertently while I was there. I'm just not mentally ready. All those feet. Bleh. I just threw up a little in my mouth just now imagining it.

This is what's going on inside all those pointy toe shoes.

5. Solely non-native English speakers serving me. It just makes me uncomfortable. They probably make great money but I feel uncomfortable getting pampered in a place where not one of the practitioners is local. Don't get me wrong. I love multiculturalism and if there had been an even mix between Asian, White, Black and Latin, I would have loved any one of them to slave over my nails. There was one Latina in the sea of Asians, so that helped my concerns, but still, something seems not right (don't get me started on the idea of a swath of foreigners hunched over attending to the corns on your feet!).

So, I faced these fears and received a very nice manicure. Suki worked on my nails, and man, could this woman file. I picked a lovely shade of white/beige so as to look as natural as possible. One of the "perks" of Pinky's is the "massage" you get while they do your nails. I use the word massage very loosely here because apparently, massage means to be punched by a 101 lbs woman. Literally. I was talking to Marianna when the massage portion started. It began innocently enough. Some gentle rubbing on my hands and forearms that felt very nice. Then, Suki made a fist and started pummeling me. I almost spit in Marianna's face, I wanted to laugh so hard. I could not keep a straight face to save my life. It hurt! Instead I just smiled at Suki. A smile that I hope said, "Oh my, that sure was relaxing" when it probably was saying something closer to "Bitch, I'm about to bruise your face like you just bruised my arm."

"Are you sure you don't want a happy ending?"

I have to say, my nails looked pretty awesome after they were done. I had successfully not bitten them for the three weeks leading up to this endeavor and it paid off. I looked VERY elegant. Actually, they didn't look like my hands at all. Those of you who know me know I have baby hands, but having my nails done really made my hands look more womanly. Or at the very least, pre-teeny. I can't say that I will every get a manicure again (pushing cuticles back DOES hurt) but it was an experience that I needed as a lady and I am grateful to Marianna for holding my hand (figuratively, I just had my nails done, man) through the whole process. Marianna also had a birthday not too too long ago for which I owe her a present. Let's just say her gift receiving trip will be in a whole other arena of things women like to do without men.

I'll give you a hint. It's not baking.